M8: Matchmaker Mistakes

     Trekking through the Mayan rain forest, I approached ancient Chichen itza. The sun crested the horizon as women ground maize on stone blocks. Teenagers watched chubby babies and stray farm animals and swept dirt floors. At the center of the city, a giant temple rose up into the lightening sky. I walked up to a thatched house in the rural section of the city. An aging couple stood in the doorway, arguing heatedly. "The atanzbah paired our talented son with that ugly witch from down the street." the man said. Abruptly, they turned to me and stopped talking. "What do you want, outsider?" the women said with hostility. "I'm the most skilled matchmaker around. I have come to help you find a great wife for your son." I replied arrogantly.
     After much negotiating, I reached an agreement with the couple. They would pay me only if I got Ixmucane to marry their son Kukulcan. Ixmucane was a 15 year old girl who was great at cooking, weaving, and singing. Thinking this would be an easy task, I went to interview Kukulcan. As I approached the field where he was working, I hesitated. Kukulcan lay under a tree, fast asleep. I tactfully nudged him with the toe of my boot, jarring him awake. I interrogated him, but he had little to share. He was weak, ugly, and stupid. Trying to consolidate a list of good characteristics while still being honest, I started to worry.
     While walking back to his parents, I crossed the path of a group of Mayan soldiers. They held magnificent, curved bows and graceful spears. Intrigued by the fine weaponry, I asked where it had been made. Surprisingly, they pointed in the direction of Kukulcan. "He is the most skilled weapon maker around. All wealthy warriors use his weapons." a burly soldier informed me. Excited, I began to run towards Ixmucane's hut. I was met by her hunch-backed parents. I told them that even though Kukulcan was ugly and weak, he would pay a large dowry. Reluctantly, Imuxcane's family agreed to meet with Kukulcan's family to discuss possible marriage.
     The parents haggled for hours. I sat by quietly and watched, amused. Finally, a decision was reached. Kukulcan would give Imuxcane's parents a dowry that could pay for new farming equipment and enough seeds to last 20 years. He would also farm their fields for 5 years. Both families were happy, and villagers built a hut behind Imuxcane's family house for the couple to live after the ceremony. Special clothes were woven, and invitations were sent out. The wedding was about to begin!
     A priest stood at an altar in the plaza. In front of him stood Kukulcan and Imuxcane. Both of them looked sad to be there. Suddenly it hit me. No one had asked the couple if they wanted to be married. They had had no say. I hadn't meant to help set up a forced marriage. I thought being a matchmaker would be more like "Fiddler on the Roof". Since I didn't want to be sacrificed (or was that the Aztecs?), I stood by quietly as the couple was blessed by the priest. They were now officially married. Defeated and angry, I traveled back to New York. I would never again be a matchmaker.